Switches to Pat “Mr. Myagi” Morita philosophy of martial arts citing “Arnold’s wicked-awesome” crane maneuver as “totally whack, but in a good, Joanie-Loves-Chachi kinda way.”

Attends the Oscars with confirmed sweetie Jennifer Garner. Astonishes 1.1 billion people around the globe by revealing that host Whoopi Goldberg is, in reality, not funny. Garner beats the bejeepers out of seat filler Gilbert Gottfried.

Switches to Pat “Mr. Myagi” Morita philosophy of martial arts citing “Arnold’s wicked-awesome” crane maneuver as “totally whack, but in a good, Joanie-Loves-Chachi kinda way.”

Attends the Oscars with confirmed sweetie Jennifer Garner. Astonishes 1.1 billion people around the globe by revealing that host Whoopi Goldberg is, in reality, not funny. Garner beats the bejeepers out of seat filler Gilbert Gottfried.