by Jason Fox | Oct 2, 2015 | Bio |
Leaves Will Hunting on Mars, but does send him a lovely box of Little Debbie Star Crunch bars aboard Elon Musk’s ego.
by Jason Fox | Sep 25, 2015 | Bio |
Resigns as Speaker of the House John Boehner’s Chief of Airbrush Tanning and Cuticle Scrubbing.
by Jason Fox | Sep 18, 2015 | Bio |
Cancels celebration of 43 years of “living” in wake of Volkswagen emissions scandal. Spends evening hooning his GTI through the Panera drive-thru.
by Jason Fox | Sep 9, 2015 | Bio |
Loans sense of humor to Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton in exchange for 43 free burrito bowl coupons from Chipotle.
by Jason Fox | Aug 30, 2015 | Bio |
Renames “ginormous” ant hill in backyard “Mount Taft.” Ant hill runs away upon realizing it is really a mangy raccoon.
by Jason Fox | Aug 22, 2015 | Bio |
Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for refusing to sell life story, not even the boring bits, to Steven Seagal.
