by Jason Fox | Jun 14, 2016 | Bio |
Begins downloading the 1.78 terabyte “critical update” to the new Microsoft-owned LinkedIn.com.
by Jason Fox | Jun 6, 2016 | Bio |
Spirals into Star Crunch-fueled melancholy at the thought of never being able to sue Gawker.
by Jason Fox | Jun 3, 2016 | Bio |
Saddened to move up a spot to the 4,872,998,374th living Greatest of All Time.
by Jason Fox | May 18, 2016 | Bio |
Merges with Time Warner and Charter Communications to form the largest collection of broken DVRs extant.
by Jason Fox | May 17, 2016 | Bio |
Sues Chewbacca Mom for sole custody of Chaka and a 3/4-complete collection of Burger King “Empire Strikes Back” collectible glasses.
by Jason Fox | May 4, 2016 | Bio |
Forgives newly minted presidential nominee also-ran John Kasich for requiring such a long list of adjectives, as well as for killing Harambe.
