by Jason Fox | Aug 9, 2016 | Bio |
Tearfully accepts gold medal from Michael Phelps for “bettering the lives of all humankind by never once donning a Speedo.”
by Jason Fox | Jul 30, 2016 | Bio |
Jumps off kids’ swing set without a Totes-based parachute, inversely besting daredevil BASE jumper Luke “Clay Jr.” Aikins by 24,994 feet.
by Jason Fox | Jul 11, 2016 | Bio |
Unanimously elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom on the promise that the UK will not have to Brexit through the EU gift shop.
by Jason Fox | Jul 6, 2016 | Bio |
Scores 18,496,443 “grown-up points” by refusing to download Pokemon Go. FBI Director James Comey investigates for a solid 33 seconds before returning to binge watching “The X-Files” on Netflix.
by Jason Fox | Jul 5, 2016 | Bio |
Against advice from counsel, deletes 143,000 Lululemon coupons good for 10% off all non-paisley Wunder Under Yoga Pants received via email from one [email protected].
by Jason Fox | Jun 27, 2016 | Bio |
Fails to find a buyer for sketchpad “proof” of a meeting between the ghost of Billy Carter and Loretta Lynn at the Southeast Iowa Regional Airport Cinnabon kiosk.
