by Jason Fox | Jun 20, 2017 | Bio |
Drops the surprise song of the summer, “Pasty Thyyz and N’eon Nyytz” feat. Snoop Lion and Roy Clark.”
by Jason Fox | Jun 16, 2017 | Bio |
Opens Hole Foods Donut Market in hopes of snagging some of that “sweet, sweet Bezos booty – the money kind.”
by Jason Fox | Jun 9, 2017 | Bio |
After securing a shocking victory in Britain’s snap election, vows to form unified government with James May and Joey from “Friends.” Ross remains “on a break.”
by Jason Fox | Jun 2, 2017 | Bio |
Helps daughter, aka Wonder Bean, construct DIY Lasso of Truth from 18 pairs of broken shoelaces, the hair of three Beanie Boos and a quart of gold glitter paint. Wonder Mama becomes truly upset.
by Jason Fox | May 24, 2017 | Bio |
Delivers “The People’s Noogie” to a cub reporter for the “Hawthorne (Elementary School) Gazette” claiming said reporter had an “obvious and longstanding bias” against 2% milk in the lunchroom.
by Jason Fox | May 18, 2017 | Bio |
Releases results of a 28-year study proving that stock market volatility has, since 1962, mirrored the mood swings of a petulant ferret named Stubbs McFeely. Apple (AAPL) shares nosedive a couple bucks to $151.
