August 3, 2017

While laying down some ad-industry truths in Nashville, gets ambushed by the smattering of young creative professionals in attendance and encased in amber to be preserved as a relic of the past.

July 25, 2017

Upon hearing the news that Adobe plans on officially putting the kibosh on Flash once and for all they pinky swear, creates a massive Excel spreadsheet detailing what to do with all the future time saved not downloading critical Flash updates only to discover 98% will...
July 17, 2017

July 17, 2017

Sells copyright for “The Audacity of Rope: A Guide to the Knots That Shaped American History” to Naruto the macaque monkey for an undisclosed amount of flingable poo.
July 7, 2017

July 7, 2017

While searching for a 1993 Infiniti to partake in “retro-cool near-luxury cruising,” responds to a Craigslist ad and accidentally purchases the G20 economic summit.

June 21, 2017

Celebrates International Yoga Day at Auntie Anne’s Pretzels & Sodium Palace. And at Cinnabon. And Orange Julius. Possibly Mrs. Field’s.