February 16, 2018

Fails to convince wife to star in ultra-ultra-ultra-low-budget film “Pasty Cougar” despite or because of assurances that it is “less of a parody or blatant rip-off and more of a truly bad idea.”

February 9, 2018

Celebrates the opening of the 23rd Winter Olympic Games in PyeongChang, South Korea, with a ceremonial “Crisco luging” down the basement stairs.