Call me a jingoistic troglodyte if you must, but I don’t watch the Olympics to foster a feeling of global connectedness deep within my bosom. With apologies to Visa, I was not chanting “Go world!” as I watched Michael Phelps win by one one-hundredth of a second over Milorad Cavic or Jason Lezak track down smack-talking Alain “I Learned Nothing from Mimes” Bernard in the 4 x 100m freestyle relay. I wanted the USA to win. Period.

You know, “USA! USA! USA!”

So why is all the advertising so New World Order? I’m taking back my apologies to Visa – I hate “Go world.” I want you to be a proud sponsor of the U.S. Olympic Team. If you sponsor teams in other countries, good for you. You’re a multi-national entity, so I won’t begrudge you that. But keep it to yourself while trying to pimp your plastic during the games. I may love me a Morgan Freeman voice over as much as the next writer, but give the man something inspiring to say.

Sure, the athletes may indeed come together and put aside their political differences for the sake of competition, but once the competition actually comes – it’s bloody war, baby.

Now excuse me while I go watch a replay of the Miracle on Ice (look it up, kids) and crank up some “Eye of the Tiger.”

Later,

Fox