I hope you know the rules by now: I only review ads shown during the four quarters of the game, so no pre- or post-game bits. No movie trailers, TV show promos or local ads.
These mostly lovely Super Bowl XLVI ads are more-or-less arranged in alphabetical order by brand.
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2nd Story Software/TaxACT, “Free to Pee” – Compares relieving oneself in a pool to preparing your tax return for free. Having just finished my taxes last week, that actually makes sense.
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Acura, “Transactions” – Acura brings the celeb power in the form of car aficionado Jerry Seinfeld as he seeks to be first in line for Acura’s upcoming NSX relaunch. It feels like this spot is meant to get people talking more about Acura than the car, which is okay by me – Acura could use some brand juice in a world of BMW/Mercedes/Audi.
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Audi, “Vampire Party” – Spot wins on concept and execution (if only they’d been able to fry that Pattinson fellow), but loses on strategy. Not sure anyone really cares about the color temperature of their headlights. At least not the folks I see in Home Depot buying blinding-white 6500k CFLs to replace their 2700k incandescents. There I go, talking like a grip again. Sorry.
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Anheuser-Busch InBev/Bud Light Platinum, “Factory” – When will Bud Light quit trying to fancy itself up? It’ll never be a Newcastle Brown or even a Stella Artois. Let it go, guys. Please.
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Anheuser-Busch InBev/Bud Light Platinum, “Work” – This just made me weep for the agency. Nothing like being told you get to do a Super Bowl spot and then being told it’s this product.
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Anheuser-Busch InBev/Bud Light, “Rescue Dog (Weego)” – My wife dug this spot. My wife hates beer. Kudos, Bud Light team. Nice spot made better (a lot better) by the choice of dog. Not the most original idea – we’ve seen dogs fetching beer before – but a nice way of repeating the brand’s tag line over and over and over and over in a fun way. And did I mention the dog?
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Anheuser-Busch InBev/Budweiser, “Return of the King” – A spot about old-timers getting excited about once again being able to legally get hammered shouldn’t have such emotional heft. But it does. Nice work.
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Anheuser-Busch InBev/Budweiser, “Eternal Optimism” – When America parties, America grabs some Buds. Don’t know if that’s true, but it sure plays well.
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Best Buy, “Phone Innovators” – Some interesting people who did some interesting things with some interesting jokes sprinkled in brought to a very, very mildly interesting conclusion. Just like this synopsis.
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Bridgestone, “Performance Football” – Interesting idea that could have used a bigger a-ha moment.
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Bridgestone, “Performance Basketball” – See above. Charles Barkley yelling about a quiet basketball might have been funnier. Although not working with Charles Barkley might have been wiser from a production standpoint.
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CareerBuilder.com, “Business Trip” – Chimps are almost always good for a chuckle, but this spot just feels like a retread of past work. Work that was better. Funnier. Chimpier. Use of “The Odd Couple” theme felt incongruous. But hey, at least it made PETA mad.
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Cars.com, “Confident You” – Cars.com veered away from the “genius befuddled by vehicle shopping” narrative it had unspooled the last two Super Bowls and instead opted for, well, this. The talent is good, the writing is fairly crisp. But I still don’t quite get the whole “confidence” angle. I don’t visit Cars.com to build my confidence. I visit to, shocker, find cars for sale. Kudos on finding that three-armed jacket from Mother Boyle, though.
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Century 21, “Smarter. Faster. Bolder.” – I’m just trying to figure out what’s bold about a midget unicorn.
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Chrysler, “It’s Halftime in America” – A Reagan-esque “Morning in America” for 2012. Clint Eastwood waxes gruffly poetic about how Detroit rebuilding itself is a microcosm of America at large. It could have flopped in a major, major way. Instead, like last year’s Chrysler offering with Eminem, it turned out to be the night’s best. Imported from Detroit, indeed.
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Coca-Cola, “Catch,” “Superstition,” “Arghh” – It’s the Coke polar bears. Watching football. As only polar bears can. Nice in-game social media tie-in, too. Well played, pudgy ones. Well played.
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Dannon Oikos Greek Yogurt, “The Tease” – This crowdsourced spot features John “The” Stamos. The Stamos remains strong, but the conceit of the spot lets him down. Just like Uncle Joey.
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Doritos, “Man’s Best Friend” and “Sling Baby” – Doritos returns with more “consumer” generated ads in their 93rd annual Crash the Super Bowl contest. These two are better than previous years’ efforts. But I think this gambit is past its prime as no consumer who doesn’t have a friend with a Red camera has much of a shot. Also, was hoping for a Carl-esque “Mmm-hmm” from the baby.
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E*Trade, “Fatherhood” – I shouldn’t like this long-in-the-tooth campaign. And I really shouldn’t like this spot, which features a talking baby in a restaurant-style high chair hanging out outside a hospital nursery. It’s all absurd. And kind of dumb. But the writing and acting make it work. More or less (as in the stinger). Still, not a special spot for the Super Bowl, so it seems like a missed opportunity.
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Fiat 500 Abarth, “Seduction” – Much better than the earlier J-Lo-based campaign, but a bit overreaching in it’s characterizations. Also, unless you watch the British “Top Gear,” you have no idea why an Abarth version is so cool.
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General Electric, “Building Something Big in Louisville” – This spot focuses on important themes: the economy, U.S. manufacturing, unemployment. Unfortunately, the testimonial construct doesn’t let the power of these themes come through. I almost immediately stopped watching when I saw the first talking head, until I realized I was supposed to be reviewing the ad.
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General Electric, “Power and Beer” – A better attempt than the “Louisville” spot, but it takes too long to get to the beer bit. I assume Anheuser-Busch InBev paid for that half.
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General Motors/Cadillac, “Green Hell” – I’m a car guy. So telling me that your car was tested at Nürburgring is not terribly exciting. I think the last Toyota Sienna minivan turned development laps there. But this spot at least refrains from naming the track by, um, name and instead makes a nice place on the Ring’s “Green Hell” alias. If only Laurence Fishburn’s voice over wasn’t so smooth.
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General Motors/Chevrolet, “Happy Grad” – I’d believe this spot more if it was for a 2013 Ford Mustang GT 500. But I’m particular that way. Spot shows the multi-generational appeal of America’s second-best muscle car without becoming treacly. This was the winner of GM’s “Chevrolet Route 66” contest. Which means it’s consumer-generated. Although said consumer is one Zach Borst, an aspiring NYC filmmaker. Good for you Borst. Well done.
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General Motors/Chevrolet, “Silverado” – Very cool spot almost undone with the possibly-meant-to-be-ironic sell line. “He drove a Ford” would’ve been enough. Nice use of Twinkies, however. But, umm, the end of the world is nothing but dudes? That’s an argument for the Blue Oval crowd.
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General Motors/Chevrolet, “Stunt Anthem” – A very fun, very well-produced spot for the new Chevy Sonic compact car. I just have no idea why I should want one.
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GoDaddy.com, “Body Paint” – More sexist sewage from one of my least-favorite brands. F- No video links for trash.
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GoDaddy.com, “The Cloud” – Ditto. F- No video links for Danica.
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H&M, “David Beckham Bodywear” – A perfume ad for underwear. That’s not a good thing.
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History Channel, “Swamp People” – stuff grade
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Honda, “Matthew’s Day Off” – Honda taps the collective memory of Gen-Xers with Matthew Broderick channeling Bueller. Bueller. Bueller. I should hate this for desecrating one of my all-time favorite films, but I actually kind of enjoy it. Although replacing the Ferrari 250GT California Spyder with a CR-V is a bit of a stretch – but the “SOCHOIC” license plate was a very nice touch. However, points off for a lack of Cameron and no Abe Froman reference.
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Hulu, “Hulubratory” – Will Arnett takes over for Alec Baldwin as an Hulu-pimping alien bent on scrambling earthlings’ brains for easy consumption. Nice Phil Hartman sound bite makes it hard not to like. So I won’t try.
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Hyundai, “Cheetah” – Ha! Just when I thought this was another tired car vs. fill-in-the-blank spot, cheetah-based mauling ensues. A little “Holy Grail”-style blood spurting would’ve been nice. Bet the NFL nixed that. Commies.
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Hyundai, “Think Fast” – Who needs CPR training when you have a car that brakes and accelerates as hard as the Genesis R-Spec? Never mind that the R-Spec isn’t that big of a sporty makeover like an AMG or M car. But do mind that Hyundai is not copying the Lexus handbook when it comes to touting its luxury models.
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Kia, “A Dream Car. For Real Life” – 30-year-old me would have complained that a Kia Optima (even the 2012 version) has no place in a man’s wildest fantasies. But 39-year-old me likes how it resembles the current Jag XJ. Sigh. Personal issues aside, nice spot with a nice payoff.
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Lexus, “The Beast” – I like the new styling language of Lexus vehicles, as demonstrated in this spot by the new 2013 GS. See, I did find something to say.
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M&M’s, “Just My Shell” – M&M’s uses hot candy (male) nudity to introduce its latest spokescandy, Ms. Brown.
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NFL, “Timeline” – A very nicely produced spot about the evolution of football saddled with a weird tie-in to safety. Because that’s why people watch football.
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Pepsi, “King’s Court” – I’ll admit, the first thing that popped into my head when I heard “X-Factor winner Melanie Amaro and Elton John” was not “Ren Fest.” But the spot gets all the little things right, from the Nelly-channeling jester to Sir Elton’s royal blue glasses. Bonus points for appropriate-yet-restrained use of Flavor Flav. I wish Pepsi’s brand had a bit more edge to it, but then, I’m not the brand strategist. But I am for hire.
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Pepsi Max, “Check-Out” – Not as awkward cringe-inducing as I had hoped. But Regis always brings the heat. Perhaps in the form of Icy Hot, but still.
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Samsung, “Thing Called Love” – I haven’t been a huge fan of this go-after-Apple campaign. The spots have actually been fairly entertaining, but the strategy just seems off. After all, even if I think a Samsung device is nicer, I’m not going to give up the hundred of dollars I’ve already spent on apps to switch to an Android-based device. This spot doesn’t fix that concern, but it is a hoot. A big, Darkness-driven hoot. Which is more than can be said for almost anyone else trying to dethrone the Legion of Jobs.
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Skechers, “Go Run, Mr. Quiggly” – The shoe brand trades in last year’s Kardashian model for a French bulldog and Dallas Maverick’s owner Mark Cuban. I know that sounds like a good trade, but I’m not so sure. And I’ve owned numerous Skechers through the years. But not those weird walk-exercise ones. Promise.
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Teleflora, “Adrianna Lima” – Telewhora. (No offense, Ms. Lima.)
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Toyota, “It’s Reinvented!” – A very fun spot for a not very fun car. Sorry, but unless you’re “reinventing” the Camry as the next Supra, you’re just not going to sell me on this. And I’m a middle-aged white guy with kids. Target. Market.
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Volkswagen, “The Dog Strikes Back” – Following up last year’s “The Force” featuring a tot (non-tater) in a Darth Vader costume, Volkswagen goes all meta with a spot for the new New Beetle. Sorry, it’s just Beetle now. Anyway, the initial part of the spot is quite nice, featuring a dog who drops some Beggin’ Strips weight so he can chase down a red Beetle. Then the spot segues to the Tatooine cantina from Star Wars-land where some alien viewers critique the ad and force choking ensues. It’s fun, but kind of weird. But then, having owned a GTI, so is VW. Regardless, a fat dog is funny in a way a fat Eddie Murphy is not.