While the rumors surrounding my status as a bona fide hunka hunka burnin’ hunkiness have abounded for years, my status has at long last been made official. People magazine has declared me to be the 2007 Sexiest Man Alive. Technically, they’ve chosen my doppelganger and the man who will play me in my life’s story (tentatively titled The Pointedness of Being Moot: A Story of Triumph, Tragedy and Tic-Tacs for the Folicularly Challenged). That’s right, it’s Matt Damon.
I’ll pause whilst you fetch some Bounty paper towels to wipe away the Coca-Cola that just came spurting through your nose and on to your monitor.
Obviously, you doubt my resemblance to Mr. Damon, even though he played a character – in three movies, no less – names after me: Jason Bourne. So I have prepared this photo to illustrate the uncanny similarities between us.
Even Affleck can’t tell us apart. And that’s not a good thing.
Later,
Fox
I’ll pause whilst you fetch some Bounty paper towels to wipe away the Coca-Cola that just came spurting through your nose and on to your monitor.
Obviously, you doubt my resemblance to Mr. Damon, even though he played a character – in three movies, no less – names after me: Jason Bourne. So I have prepared this photo to illustrate the uncanny similarities between us.
Even Affleck can’t tell us apart. And that’s not a good thing.
Later,
Fox
Two peas in a pod. Hurtling toward the sun.